Life as an Espeon
by Lanny-Sama
Summary: Paul hears a strange sound in the night.Following it, he falls towards his death. But Mew grants him life once more, even though it's not the life he used to have. Contains slight gore and Character Death. Used to be a Oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my clothes**

**Life as an evil Espeon**

Paul stared into the fire. It was dark outside and his pokemon were silently staring at him. Most nights were like this. Stupid pokemon. There weren't any wild pokemon around, and Paul knew exactly why. He hated all those vile creatures with their stupid squeals. He didn't have to spend any money on repels, all he had to do was kick a few rattata's and throw a few rocks at some hoothoot's to have a peaceful evening.

An hour passed, but sleep would not come. There was something in the air that kept him on edge. His pokemon were lying around, some of them snoozing, but Paul knew that most of them were still awake as well.. He sighed and stood up. "Get up you weaklings." He kicked his torterra roughly in the belly, and it made a pained roar. The other pokemon lying around him jumped up in surprise. Why did he even take the stupid things with him ? " We're leaving." He walked on, not looking to see if his pokemon followed him. If they were too stupid to follow him they weren't worth his attention.

He walked and walked. The forest was eerily quiet and his pokemon walked unusually close to him. It was quite unnerving. His pokemon kept whimpering and shivering, and when Gliscore bumped into him he had had enough. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU ?" The pokemon cringed and looked at the ground. "Worthless thrash..." He called them back. He had no need of 5 pokemon trembling in his shadow. He walked on, only stopping when he came to a huge abyss. Deep down below, a huge river was roaring. Going on now would just be stupid. Walking on the edge of an abyss in the middle of the night... Definitely not a smart idea. Besides, it was too dark to check the map for a bridge.

Paul grunted in annoyance. He laid his backpack on the ground and laid his pokemon next to it. This was going to be a long night. Suddenly a strange sound caught his ears. A pokemon ? Paul knew almost all the cries pokemon could make, but this one was completely new. It came from the abyss. He bent over the edge and squinted. Rare pokemon were strong pokemon, and both of them were welcome in his party. A flash of milky-pink flashed by and the cry sounded again. Could it be... Mew ? Paul quickly lowered himself onto a small edge, a few empty pokeballs in his hand. Suddenly the cry died down, and he could hear nothing. Paul leaned forward ever so slightly, in an attempt to find the mysterious pokemon.

Then he slipped. He plummeted towards the roaring river, his fingers bleeding from an attempt to grab a ledge, and the empty pokeballs falling with him. Paul was shocked. It couldn't end like this ! It just couldn't ! All that training, the fighting... And now he would just fall to his death ?

He crashed into the water. The impact was huge, and his head was slammed against the stones in the river. Everything turned black.

A few kilometers away, Paul was washed on the riverbed. A huge slash on his head and his eyes dull and lifeless. Dead. The night was silent. A small pink pokemon soared over the river, it's small head looking frantically for something. "Mew ! Mew !" It hovered above Paul's dead body. "_Was I the cause of this ? Was I the one responsible for his untimely death ? I am sorry young human. I will grant you life. But I cannot give you the life you are used to. I am sorry... Mew.." _

Mew closed it's eyes, and a small light hovered between it's tiny paws. It steadily grew bigger, and Mew laid it carefully upon Paul's forehead. The light turned a dark purple, and then flashed into a pure white. The small rounds shape began to take form, and Mew nodded silently. "_Good luck."_

**~The following morning~**

Paul opened his eyes. He felt shivery on his legs, and his head was bursting. The smell around him was awful, and the sounds from the forest were unusually loud. _ What happened ? Oh yeah... The river... I am still alive ? _Paul got up shakily and shook his head. When he opened his eyes, he was met with his own face, torn up, eyes dull and rolled into the back of his head. Dead. He let out a shriek of surprise. "_WHAT ?" _His own voice was even more surprising. What had meant to sound like 'WHAT?" had come out as : "ESPEON?" What in the name of Ho-oh was going on ? Paul tried to speak, screaming out random words in an attempt to convince himself that he wasn't what he thought he was. He couldn't be ! But his strange voice, light purple tail, and his soft paws did not go away.

Paul was an espeon. A pink, double-tailed espeon ! This couldn't be happening ! Paul sat down shakily, his forepaws firmly on the ground. He needed to calm down. Panicking never solved anything. Still, his entire body trembled. He now realized that the horrid stench was coming from the dead body lying next to him. He hunched over and let out a dry heave. It sounded like a cat trying to get rid of furballs.

He trudged into the river and put his head under the refreshing water. That helped. Paul took a few deep breaths and moved his paw over his small snout, straightening out the gleaming fur. Then he walked out of the river, not daring to look at his corpse. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. He was just hallucinating. He had bumped his head, and now he was dreaming. "_It's all a dream. Yes ! That is it. I will just pinch... er... bite myself, and then I'll wake up !" _Paul lifted his paw and sank his sharp canines into it, letting out a surprised howl of pain.

He stared at the bitemarks in his paw. No way... It wasn't a dream...

He stared at his body, rage and sadness overtaking him. Being dead would be better than this ! He was a Pokemon ! A foul, stinking machine of entertainment for imbeciles ! He let out a loud shriek of anger and thrashed around on the ground in anger.

"_Whoa Whoa calm down man." _Paul was on his feet in a split second, his fur standing upright and his teeth bared. A small caterpie stared at him from a low branch. Paul just stared at it, his teeth no longer bared, and only an astounded expression on his face. _"Is that your trainer or sumthin' ? Why you freakin' out so much ? That guy was a very mean person ! He kicked me and my friend out of our tree !" _Paul scowled at the caterpie, stuck his nose in the air and walked away. "_Sorry. I don't talk to weak and stupid little bugs like you." _

The caterpie gave him an angry look and shouted after him "_I change my opinion, you are meaner !" _Paul ignored him. The forest seemed a lot bigger now. Now that Paul had calmed down just a bit, he could sense an entire new dimension. It was amazing. Without needing to hear smell or look, he could sense the whereabouts of dozens of pokemon. His hearing was fine, and he enjoyed the numerous sounds he had never witnessed before. He jumped up some trees, enjoying his newfound agilty, strength and speed.

The smells lingering in the forest were mostly pleasant, but the smell of his own rotting flesh seemed to follow him wherever he went. He jumped down from the tree and took a dash towards a small lake in the forest. Dozens of pokemon were spalshing through the water, squealing in happiness as they played around. Paul was astounded to hear their small voices. Pidgey's were chatting about some oran berries, a kecleon was telling a story to some caterpie, and a linoone was singing a song for her zigzagoon child.

Paul's amazement at the understanding of pokemon language faded quickly as the high pitched squeals of the pokemon began to annoy him. Starly's, pidgey's, butterfree, poochyena, it all barked, howled, screeched and whistled, assaulting his poor Espeon ears. He swiped his paw harshly against a small starly. "_Starl- OWW ! Ow! Mommyyyy !" _Paul snarled and whipped his tail roughly against the shrieking starly. "_SHUT UP ! ALL OF YOU !" _The pokemon sent him angry looks, and a pidgey fluttered down next to the starly. "_What do you think you are doing ? Starly wasn't doing anything wrong !" _Numerous other pokemon joined in and assaulted Paul's ears with their horrible squeaks. Paul laid his ears flat on his head and hissed dangerously. "SHUT ! UP !_" _He slammed against the pidgey, and it was slammed roughly against a tree with a squeak.

The other pokemon attacked him, but Paul's senses were overloaded, and he barely noticed anything beyond the ear-ripping squeaks that assaulted him. A poochyena but his leg and he let out a cry at the sharp pain. He howled in an angry rage, and suddenly he could feel another dimension ripping open, it's power flowing through his system for a moment, before bursting out in a silent explosion. When he opened his eyes, there was silence, his attackers laying unconscious around him. Had he just used... Pshychic ? A cocky grin appeared on his face. Ah. He was strong. He was a strong pokemon. Look. All those dozens of pokemon fainted with just one hit. Granted, they were useless weaklings, but still. The silence was bliss. Like a warm bath after being a bit cold. Paul jumped into a tree and jumped from branch to branch, until he found a road. A small puddle of water lying next to it. The sun was shining brightly, and Paul found himself enjoying the light. He lied next to the puddle en enjoyed the intensified beams of sunlight. His eyes slid closed steadily and he fell asleep.

The sound of footsteps woke him up. For a moment he panicked, and he looked around disoriented. The footsteps sounded again, and Paul quickly climbed into a tree. Hiding amongst the leaves, shoving an entire nest of Weedle's and Kakuna's out of the tree in his haste. Then, an all familiar voice rang through the air. " Come on Pikachu ! Let's get to the next gym !" Oh god. Please... Not that idiot and his- "_Pikachu! Yea! I can't wait to take on the next gym !" _ Stupid vile rodent.

Another voice answered quickly." Yes ! And then I can get a new ribbon !" "_Pip piplup ! Looking forward to it Dawn !" _Paul grunted. That imbecile girl Dawn with her fat flyless birdie. Just his luck. Paul laid his ears in his neck and curled his tail around him. "Haha, You two are fired up, as always." And there was the last member of the idiot-club, Brock.

_Better just stay hidden from these idiots. _But luck wasn't on his side. Just as Brock, Ash and Dawn passed, a stinging poke in his back made Paul fall out of the tree. He fell right on top of Ash, who let out a loud ACK and crumbled to the ground. Paul growled in panic and tried to untangle himself with Ash by clawing at him. "OW OW OW ! GET OFF GET OFF OWWW !" A shock of electricity was sent through his body, and Espeon let out a pained cry.

" _Pika ! Let go of my trainer or I'll zap you again ! You're hurting him !" _Paul screeched, and wriggled loose. He dashed away from Ash and his party of idiots, only to run face first into a tree. He could hear a loud crunch, and he hoped it was the tree and not his skull. He shook on his paws and fell to the ground. The world was all fuzzy and his vision was shaking a bit. He hadn't realized that running so fast into a tree could have this much effect. A small trail of blood was running over his face.

"Ah ! You poor thing !" Dawn's soft hands lifted him up from the ground, and Paul struggled weakly in her grasp. "_Leave... Leave me alone woman... I... I am fine... .I ….." _His vision was getting blurry, and a headache was pounding through his head. He was laid down on a soft blanket and someone was trying to wrap a bandage over his head. He swapped his paws at the hands furiously. "Espeon, please, stay still, we only want to help you !" Paul hesitated for a small moment, and let Brock apply the bandages."Look. As good as new." Paul jumped up as soon as he heard it, intending to run away as fast as possible, but as soon as he got up, dizziness hit him, and he almost fell down again.

Ash softly picked him up and stroked his fur. Paul wanted to scratch him, make him stop, but he didn't have any strength left. His head was pounding even worse, and he felt extremely heated. Ash seemed to have noticed too. "Brock ! I think... I think this Espeon has been poisoned !" Ah. So this is what poisoning felt like. Paul felt sorry for every pokemon that ever had to experience it. It was horrible. Breathing was getting hard, his vision blurring and focusing without a pattern, and a pounding headache. Those stupid weedles... "We have to get it to a pokemoncenter quickly !" Paul vaguely mewled out nonsense and swapped his paws at imaginary foes as Ash ran towards the nearest village.

Only 5 minutes later, Paul fainted. It seemed ages later that he woke up to the big concerned faces of Ash, Dawn and Brock, and he let out a shriek in surprise. He Jumped up and Snarled, his fur standing up dangerously and his fangs bared. Pikachu gave him an angry look. _"Hey ! They saved you ! You could be a little more grateful !" _Paul scowled and sat up proudly, his nose in the air. "_If it hadn't been for you fools crossing my path this never would have happened in the first place!" _Pikachu growled angrily at him, but Ash interrupted him before he could say any more.

"Calm down Pikachu, he was just startled because we woke him up ! We better leave him alone so he can rest." Paul gave him a thankful nod and sat down, washing himself to make his point even clearer. But after they had left the room and paul had finished cleaning himself, he was bored. He felt better. A lot better. The ache in his body was gone, and the headache was also gone. The wound on his head felt okay, and Paul decided he needed to get out. He scratched at his bandages until they came off and then nudged the door open as gently as he could.

He snuck through the corridors, loving the fact that he was as silent as a soft breeze in a desert. He tiptoed over to the main entrance of the Poke center and hid behind a chair. "Ah ! There you are !" Two arms suddenly wrapped around his belly and lifted him into the air. He let out a loud growl. How could he not have heard that ? He struggled against the arms, but it was in vain. The one holding him was wearing gloves. Quite thick ones too. "Mister Ketchum, your Espeon is feeling quite well again." Paul let out an angry shriek and continued to claw at the gloved hands holding him.

"Oh ! No it's not my Espeon... We found it in the forest. It was very confused and it was poisoned, so of course we brought it to a pokemon-center." Finally the hands lowered him to the ground, and Paul growled angrigly at Nurse Joy, his fur standing upright in anger. Ash kneeled besides him and laid his hand on Paul's head so he could scratch behind his ear. If it hadn't felt so pleasant, Paul would have shredded his hand to bits. "Hey Espeon, would you like us to accompany you to the forest ?" Paul almost declined, but then he suddenly thought of his pokemon. They had been a day without food now, and since he had their pokeballs made extra resistant to break-outs, there was no chance they would survive. He hated pokemon, but letting them starve would be too cruel, even for Paul.

Paul sighed and nodded silently. And so he joined them. Pikachu did not like him. And the feeling was mutual. Paul mostly ignored the rodent, turning his head away every time Pikachu came into his sight. The scent of rotting flesh was hanging in the air. Paul shivered a bit and walkd on. There was no need to show these losers his dead body. They'd probably just laugh it off, or fake some sad face before kicking his dead body and leaving it there to rot. But Pikachu didn't ignore it. "_Oh my god ! I smell... I smell... Ash ! Ash Ash ! I smell something terrible ! Follow me, " _Ash gave an surprised look at pikachu and stared at the pokemon. "What is wrong pikachu ?" Paul rolled his eyes.

Pikachu jumped to the ground and tried to lead them towards Paul's corpse, but Paul crossed him and shook his head. "_No. I will NOT allow you to go there." _Pikachu growled and small sparks flew off his red little cheeks. Paul himself readied his deadly Psychic for usage. "Whoa ! Calm down you two ! What is going on ?" Ash grabbed Pikachu from the ground and Dawn held Espeon back.

"Espeon. Why won't you let us go there ? What if it's a pokemon needing help ? We must go Espeon !" Paul cried out, once again frustrated by the high-pitched "ESPEON" - sound he emitted. Fine then, if they wanted to humiliate him by abusing his dead body, fine. Let them do it. He turned his head away and stared at the ground, walking just behind pikachu. The smell got closer, and in only a few minutes, he would once again have to face his own dead body. He expected them to roll their eyes, and wave it off. They'd probably say something like: _"Oh it's just Paul. Good that he's dead. Let's go on." _

What he didn't expect what the terrified shriek that Dawn uttered at seeing his corpse. Brock staggered back a few steps and covered his mouth, and Ash fell to his knees, his hands pressed over his mouth. "P...Paul..." Paul had to admit, in one day, his body had decayed more than he had thought possible. Some bird pokemon were pecking at the wound in his head, his skin was a sickly greenish grey, and a poochyena was ripping some flesh from his side. The smell was terrible, and he could hear Brock heaving in the bushes.

Ash was trembling, and he stood up. "P...Pikachu, get those pokemon off him !" As pikachu shooed off the wild pokemon, Ash turned to Espeon. "Espeon...Was Paul... Was Paul your.. .Your trainer ?" Paul stared at Ash for a moment, and then nodded. "Oh God... Paul..." Paul stared at the three trainers in amazement. He hadn't expected them to behave like this. Didn't they hate him ? Loathe him ? Despice him ? Yet here they were, crying over his dead body... Ash came over to him and held him close.

"I... I'm so sorry Espeon...Paul... He..." Paul just laid his head against Ash's chest. A moment later something wet hit his face. A tear. Ash ketchum, the person whom he had expected to hate him the most, was crying over his death. He then did something he would have killed himself for, had he not just witnissed his archrival crying over him. He licked Ash's cheek and nudged his face softly. Dawn openend her bag and got out her pokegear. "O-officer Jenny ? D-Dawn here... We... I... We found a .. a corpse...and... Oh... yes I under-understand...Yes..." A few minutes later, Officer Jenny arrived in a big jeep, a growlithe trudging at her side. They wrapped Paul's human body in blankets, and lifted him onto the truck.

Officer Jenny turned to Ash. "Let's go." Ash shook his head. "Paul had pokemon... They must still be around somewhere, in their pokeball or somewhere in the forest..." Officer Jenny nodded and rode away. Paul watched. It was very strange. He had never dared to dream that his death would have such an impact. "Espeon, Es !" Ash sighed and averted his eyes from the truck that was driving away. "What is it Espeon ?"

Paul turned around and walked up the hill. He knew that his pokemon weren't far away. Ash Dawn and Brock followed him silently, their heads hanging. It didn't take very long before they found Paul's backpack at the edge of the cliff. Paul gestured towards the 5 Pokeballs lying next to his backpack. The three trainers looked over the edge of the abyss and shuddered. "He... Must have fallen down here..." Paul looked down, and a shudder ran through him. It hadn't seemed that terrifying high yesterday night...

Ash opened the pokeballs, and Paul faced his own pokemon. They looked tired, and were very surprised to see Ash instead of me. Ash sat down in front of them. "I need to tell you guys something... Your... Your trainer, Paul... We... We found him. He's …. He's dead." The pokemon stared at him wide-eyed. Then, their gaze fell to the ground. They were silent. For once, Paul wished he hadn't trained them to be silent. Ash spoke again. "You are all free to do what you want. You too Espeon... I...I'm so sorry..." Ash turned around and walked away. My pokemon scattered slowly, each of them going their own way, without saying goodbye to eachother.

I didn't know what to do. I was a pokemon. The me everybody knew no longer existed. Ash, Dawn and Brock walked away in silence, and I stared at their backs. What would I do ? Live my life as an Espeon ? Hunted for my powers ? I ran to my backpack and ripped it open. I dug around in the backpak until I found what I was looking for. An old pokeball. It was my first one. I had used it on a Shinx a long time ago, it had broken free. I had kept and repaired the pokebal so I could once use it on a more deserving pokemon. A black P was burned into it, to show that it was my pokeball. I ran after Ash and placed the pokeball in front of him. He gave me a blank stare, and I tried to be patient. I pointed towards the Pokeball with my paw and nudged it into his direction. "Espeon... You... Do you want... me to capture you ?" Paul nodded.

Ash picked up the pokeball and pressed it against Paul's forehead. Paul felt himself getting light, and his vision turned a transparant red. Then he was curled up in a moderately large space. Pokeballs weren't nearly as small and uncomfortable as he had thought... He saw a small lock shooting into place, and two other followed soon after. A small beep signaled that the capture had been completed. Then Paul nudged open the locks and jumped out of the pokeball. There was no way he would be locked up in a pokeball all day.

That is how my new life as an Espeon started. I can't say I'm unhappy. Ash is friendly. This... adventure has changed me. Pokemon still don't mean anything to me, but I have gained a great trust towards Ash. My trainer. It sounds weird to day that, but it's true. It began when I started respecting his way of battling. He never pushed me over my limits, he held me when I was injured, he petted me, trained me, fed me, loved me... Even when I failed him he would grant me his smile and soft whispers of praise.

If I had known what I know now, I would have jumped off that cliff willingly. More and more I find myself smiling. My arrogance is becoming less and less. All because of Ash. Sometimes I climb into his bed when he sleeps. Then I just lie next to him, and let his thoughts and dreams flow into me through the veil of the other dimension. If I would ever get the chance to be my human self again, I wouldn't be able to choose.

Sometimes, in the deepest hours on the night, a sliver of my old self returns, and scolds me, hates me. How could I have sunken this low ? Snuggling up to the one I hated, submitting myself to him completely. I do whatever he asks, I am a slave. I became one of the beings I hated most. The worst part about that, is the fact that I don't want to change that. Whenever Ash calls me out for a battle, I stand up proudly, whenever he tells me to do something, I do so. All because I love to see the goofy smile on his face when we win. I don't mind being a slave, as long as Ash is my master.

How ironic that I can only love him when he cannot ever love me. I am so happy when he pets me, I am so happy when he looks at me. Every night my old self hates me more and more.

But the dark hours in the night cannot bring me to depression.

Ash's bright light dissolves any darkness that threatens to consume me.

Just like he did when I was still human.

I would die for you Ash.

I will love you.

**A/N: Why an Espeon ? Because Pauls hair is purple, and Espeon is the only pokemon that I can imagine Paul to be. I made this Oneshot in just one day. BUt it might continue if I can cough up a plot. I just loved the idea of Paul dying and being reborn. I don't like the part with Mew, but mew is hard to write. Please tell me what you think. Please review with suggestions or whatsoever, so that I can continue this, or alter it.**

**Edit :After getting rid of all the spelling mistakes and other stuff, I have decided to put on at least one more chapter. **

**Lanny-Sama out !**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here it is. Chapter 2. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Feel free to leave suggestions or story lines.**

**Chapter 2**

"_I don't know what possesed me when I agreed to becoming Ash's Pokemon."_ Paul thought. The boy was so naïve and dim-witten he could barely stand it! Not to mention Ash's idiotic pokemon. They never stopped chattering about Ash's training, Brock's food, Dawn's ribbons or other meaningless shit. He had only been with them for one day, and he had already heard every sentence they said at least 5 times.

Paul took a small bite of his pokemonfood, only to spit it out with a disgusted noise. How did pokemon manage to down this stuff ? It tasted horrible ! Paul shuddered and supressed a gag. No dinner then. The other pokemon were gobbling it up as if it were cake, and their noisy eating habits were really annoying. Paul sighed and jumped into a tree. I really need peace and quiet once in a while. Paul stared at the dark sky. Just a day ago, on a night like this, his life as a human had ended.

Paul closed his eyes, and he let the other dimension take over his senses. The forest was still bristling with life, many nighttime pokemon were just waking up. The thoughts of the ones around him were like whispers floating through the air. He never tried to hear what they were thinking. It probably wasn't anything worthwile anyway.

"_Hey Espeon ! Don't be such a party-pooper ! Come down and play tag with us !" _I flinch as the high-pitched scream pulled me out of my silent , the most annoying pokemon Ash has in his team. For some reason, Monferno fervently believes that he needs to take care of me. Continually the flaming monkey pounces on me, telling me to let go of Paul, and that Paul hadn't been the nicest trainer anyway, and that I should be happy to be with ash now. Needless to say, I absolutely hate Monferno. I turn around with a feral snarl on my face. " _Leave me alone !" _When will this fool stop bothering me ? Paul jumped a few branches further and closed his eyes again, preparing to open up the other dimension again.

"Hey, Espeon ?" This time it was Ash. " You didn't eat a lot of your food, are you okay ?" Paul sighed. He had gotten used to Ash's stupid comments by now. People being unable to understand you was a pain in the ass. Of course he wasn't okay. He had fallen off a cliff, died, brought to life as an espeon, got poisoned and got captured. And that all in just one day ago. Paul sighed and climbed down. He walked past Ash and began playing with his pokeball, rolling it back and forth between his paws. It was the only amusement he had found so far, besides from pestering wild pokemon.

Ash sighed and sat down by the campfire a few meters further. "Do you guys think Espeon dislikes me ?" Ash was speaking quietly, but Paul's psychic power and his enhanced hearing made it easy to hear what he was saying. Even without trying he could feel the emotions flowing through the air. Brock answered in an equally quiet voice. " He is just grieving, he lost his trainer, and from what I think, he is blaming himself." Paul hissed and swatted his paw furiously against his pokeball. Why were people so darn stupid ? "Hey, I have an idea !" Oh god, not that girl. Please. "Why don't you give him some poffins ? I made some just yesterday ! I'm sure he'll love them !" Paul shuddered. Poffins were better than normal food, but it was outright gross next to normal human food.

Oh what I would do for some nice curry now. "I... I don't think Espeon likes poffins. Maybe... Maybe we should try asking him what he wants to eat ?" Paul's ears perked up at that. That was the best idea he had heard so far. Ash came up to him and laid his hand on Paul's head. "Hey Espeon, I know you're upset, but will you please eat ? We have some other nice food besides poffins and pokemon food..." Paul nodded quickly and replied with a hungry "Espeon !" Ash smiled and picked him up.

The moment Ash let go of Paul, he jumped at the food, gulping down as much as he could. It was delicious. He barely noticed the goodhearted laughs from the trainers around him. "You were right Ash, it seems he loves my cooking !" Paul ignore him. After he had practically licked his plate clean, he walked over to Ash's sleeping bag and curled up in it with a small yawn. " Ah ! Espeon ! That is where I sleep..." Paul was already alseep. Ash sighed. "I guess you can sleep with me for once..."

**The next day**

When Paul woke up, he was very comfortable. Softness was all around him, and it was pleasantly warm. Paul was purring in contentment, curling up to the source of the warmth.

Wait... The warmth had a source ? Paul's eyes snapped open, and he stared right in Ash's sleeping face. Paul let out a high-pitched screech and dove out of the sleeping bag. Ash let out a startled cry and jumped out of his sleeping bag. Paul was burning red. How the hell had he NOT noticed that Ash had been lying in the same bed with him ? "Espeon ? What happened ? Is something wrong ? Why are you so red ?" Paul quickly looked away and started cleaning himself.

"What happened Ash ? What was that weird screech ?" Ash shook his head and turned to his friends. " Ah, it was nothing, I think I just startled Espeon a bit...Well, now that we're up, let's get some breakfast and move on. " Paul sighed. Crisis averted.

Breakfast was once again pure torture for Paul's ears, but when he concentrated on the other dimension it wasn't at all that bad. Nonetheless he was happy when the trainers called back most of their pokemon. Leaving only Piplup, Pikachu and himself out of their pokeball. The trip was silent, and Paul enjoyed the sunlight that was shining down on them. It was weird, but the sunlight seemed to brighten his mood by a degree he hadn't thought possible.

Well, Espeon was a pokemon that enjoyed sunlight, but he never thought it would have this much effect. A butterfree suddenly fluttered in front of him, and before he knew It he was swatting his paws at it, making playful noises as he chased the thing around. The butterfree giggled and avoided his paws. "_Giggle giggle ! Catch me if you can kitty !" _Paul grinned and followed it around. Over the rock, around the tree, left, right, left, left- "UCK" His nose met a tree with a small thunk, and Paul let out a startled yelp.

"_Better luck next time Espeon !" _He could hear the other's laughing at his blunder, and Paul wanted to bury himself and never come back up again. Why had he started chasing that butterfree in the first place ? The rest of the way he had walked behind the rest, making sure he didn't let himself go like that again.

Just when Paul believed they would walk on forever, Dawn let out an small squeal. " Ah ! There is the next city ! Awesome ! I can get my next ribbon !" Paul half expected Ash to join in with an equally excited speech about the badge he would be winning soon, but Ash didn't say anything. Brock and Dawn seemed to notice it as well, but neither of them said anything. Dawn quieted, and the first so happy atmosphere now cooled down.

Paul felt startled, the change in atmosphere felt like a freezing shower, the emotions buzzing through the air were cold and sad. "I still can't believe that Paul is dead." Ash stared at the ground. He wasn't crying, But Paul could feel the thick emotions running through the air. Ash was on the verge of crying. Dawn walked up to Ash and gave him a hug. "It'll be okay Ash... Just let it all out..." Paul closed his eyes and rubbed him head against Ash's leg. Ash kneeled down and hugged Paul. "I'm sorry Espeon. I know it's hard for you too, but together we can get over this, right buddy ?" Paul gave a small nod.

Ash stood up and shook his head. " This is no time to start crying ! I shouldn't stop moving on. Paul wouldn't have wanted it that way. It's time to get that new badge, come on Espeon, Pikachu ! Let's give it our all !" Pikachu let out a happy cry and Paul resisted the urge to join in. Dawn and Brock smiled and nodded. "Let's go !"

Not too much later, they were standing in front of the gym. Paul felt a shiver running over his back. He was supposed to fight other pokemon. And not some weak wild pidgeys, but trained pokemon. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't even know what moves he could use besides Psychic ! He took a small step backwards, suddenly afraid. "What's wrong Espeon ?" Paul looked away nervously, he didn't want to look weak, but he didn't want to end up in a pokemon center either... "Ah, you're worried about the fight ? Don't worry Espeon, we will train beforehand !" Espeon let out a sigh of relief. "_Pika, Ash always trains before a gymbattle. Didn't Paul do that ? How rash..." _Paul was too relieved by the fact he wouldn't have to fight to hear Pikachu's rude comment.

"It says here the gym leader isn't present, so I guess we have lots of time to train !" Ash's stomach let out a loud growl. "On second thought, lets eat something first ! Let's go guys !" Paul nodded and followed Ash to the pokemoncenter. It didn't take long until the sun set, and the time to train grew nearer. After dinner, Ash stood up.

"Come on Espeon, it's time for some training." Paul nodded and followed Ash onto a big patch of grass just outside the pokemon center. " Don't worry Espeon, I'm sure you will do just fine ! Let's start with something easy... Say... Calm mind !" Paul raised his eyebrows. _Calm mind ?...Well.. No hurt in trying..._ Paul closed his eyes and sat perfectly still. _Calm mind. Calm mind. _Slowly but surely, all nerviness drained from his mind and he was in complete harmony with both dimensions. He could feel power rushing through his system. It felt amazing. "Good Espeon ! Perfect !" If paul hadn't been mesmerized by the feeling of complete harmony, he would have puffed out his chest in satisfaction.

"Now, Espeon ! Try Psychic on that treetrunk !" Paul opened his eyes, and concentrated the intense energy that was building up beneath the veil of the other dimension. The trunk flew up in the air and was then hurled towards the ground. The treetrunk broke in two with a loud CRACK. "Whoa Espeon ! That was great ! Let's try it again, but a little faster this time !" Paul nodded, and once again the tree trunk suffered a hard hit from his psychic, splinters of wood flying through the air. "Wow Espeon ! That was awesome ! You are a very fast learner !" Paul smiled.

"Come on, once more !" Paul fired off Psychic after Psychic, blasting several treetrunks into oblivion. "Allright ! Let's try some other moves !" Paul nodded. Other moves ? ….What else did he have up his sleeve ? Paul dug into his memory. What were typical moves for an Espeon ?... Ofcourse ! Shadowball ! Paul closed his eyes and opened the other dimension, scouting it. It wasn't very long before he found dark energy drifting about. He opened his mouth and concentrated the dark energy between his fangs. He could hear Ash letting out a surprised gasp as he shot the shadowball with impressive speed against another tree.

"Wow Espeon ! That was amazing ! I didn't know you could do shadowball !" Paul grinned smugly, and he licked his paw nonchalantly, doing it off as something unimportant. "Allright Espeon ! Let's do that again !" Paul let out a small growl and readied his deadly power for direct use.

It wasn't until late in the night that the training was over. Paul was breathing heavily in exhaustion, shaking on his paws. He barely had the energy to call forth any more power from the other dimension. Ash walked over to him and petted him. "You did awesome Espeon, you must be very tired, let's go to bed for now. We need to stock up on some sleep before we challenge the gymleader !" Paul wanted to protest, he needed to cross his limits, keep on going until he would fall, but Ash simply picked him up and carried him to the pokemoncenter.

Paul was asleep before Ash even got his room.

**The next morning**

Paul woke up. He was lying next to pikachu in a basket with blankets. The sun was about to come up, and Paul felt his fur standing upright. Sun ! Oh he loved the sunshine ! He jumped up to the window and opened it with Psychic. He jumped out immediately, softening his own landing with another use of Psychic. After all that training, Psychic was as natural to him as breathing. Paul stretched and lied down, letting the warm and soothing morning sun washing over him. He felt his powers returning, and he felt better than ever.

So that is what morning sun feels like. Paul purred softly as he laid in the sun. But his morning peace did not last long. "Oh wow ! And Espeon ! I totally gotta catch it !" Paul barely had the time to jump away from a pokeball thrown in his direction. "Ah ! It woke up ! Darn ! Go Charmeleon !" Paul felt the blood draining from his face. He had to battle. And there was no Ash to call him back or give him potions, he was on his own.

Paul forced himself to calm down. All that training wouldn't be in vain. _I need to calm my mind. Calm mind.. Calm mind..._ Paul felt the other dimension again, and it wrapped itself around him. Paul was calm. He needed to analyze the situation. "Charmeleon ! Use your scratch !" Paul opened his eyes. The charmeleon was too fast to dodge, and three hard nails scratched over Paul's paw. He let out a small wince, but stood his ground. He growled and opened his mouth, a shadowball forming quickly. He shot it in Charmeleon's direction, hitting spot on, and sending the lizard pokemon flying against a tree.

"Oh no ! Charmeleon !" Paul didn't waste anymore time, and spun around, jumping through the window of Ash's room in the pokemoncenter, landing roughly on Ash's stomach. " ARCK !" Paul lost his footing as Ash bolted upright, a startled expression on his face. "Wha... Wut ?" Paul started explaining to Ash what happened, until he remembered he spoke Pokemon language. He let out a small groan. "_People not understanding me, pokeballs getting thrown at me ! This sucks !" _Pikachu yawned and gave him a dull look. "_Pikaaa... I have that too a lot. That's why I keep close to Ash. Chu ! Pokeballs are way too hard to be chucked at pokemon !" _Paul nodded fervently. _"Right on, rodent!" _Pikachu let out an annoyed growl, but Paul ignored it.

"What is going on with you two... It's way to early for all of this... I'm going back to sleep." Paul sighed and walked out of the room. It wasn't like he would be able to explain It anyway. He walked into the lobby of the pokemon center, seeing and upset trainer handing over his charmeleon to nurse joy. Paul snickered under his breath and walked towards the door. _That was a sucky trainer._ One litte shadowball and the charmeleon had bitten the dust. Paul purred and walked outside. He really wanted to lie in that soothing morning sun again.

It didn't take long for Dawn, Brock and Ash to show up. Well, a few hours actually, but time flew by for Paul as he enjoyed the soft sunlight dancing over his fur. "Hey Espeon, let's go to the gym. It's time for the battle." Paul was surprised by the determination in Ash's voice. For a tiny moment, he considered not going. Just lying in this extremely comfortable sunlight and sleeping... But he shook his head. That training of yesterday wouldn't go to waste. He followed Ash to the Gym. He was tense, but no longer from fear. He wanted to fight. He wanted to show Ash his power. He wanted to show everyone that he was the strongest !

Paul waited tensely at Ash's side, as the two trainers spoke their last words before battle. "Are you ready Ash ? Cuz I won't hold back !" Ash smiled confidently in return. "I don't plan on holding back either Crasher Wake ! I choose you ! Espeon !" Paul walked forward, onto the battlefield, tense with nervousness. _Calm down Paul. Calm down. You can do this._

"Go ! Gyrados ! Use your Bite !" Paul stiffened in slight panic as the huge dragon pokemon rushed towards him. In the other dimension, dark powers shifted through the air, forming between the Gyrados' teeth. He had no defense against this ! In his panic, he could barely hear Ash's voice. "Espeon ! Use calm mind !" Paul's eyes widened. Calm mind ? Was Ash playing with him ? Bite was a physical move ! There was no way that Calm mind would help right now ! Paul scoffed, and a piece of his old cocky attitude surfaced. _What are you doing Paul ? Goofing around like this ? I am a better trainer than Ash. And now I will prove that !_

Paul jumped, avoiding the dark fangs of the big dragon pokemon, and used his deadly psychic. He had expected the heavy pokemon to wear on his power, but Gyrados was actually light. He could lift the huge dragonpokemon meters up in the air with ease ! He jerked with his head and the Gyrados was slammed roughly against the hard Gym wall. "Oh no ! Gyrados !" Paul let out a small noise of disgust. What a weak gyrados. The gyrados got up, but it was heavily wounded. Paul heard Ash calling something to him, but he yawned and ignored the trainer.

"Gyrados ! Use Outrage !" Paul readied himself for impact. The huge dragon pokemon thrashed around, hitting Paul squarely in the stomach. Paul winced, but the attack hadn't hurt half as much as he had expected it to. He landed on his feet and cocked his head to the side. _"Is that all you got ? Pheh ! You weakling !" _The Gyrados roared and charged again, but this time, Paul didn't even bother dodging. The hit almost felt weaker than the scratch of that charmeleon ! Paul closed his eyes, and used Morning sun. The small wounds on his body closed almost instantly, and Paul licked his paw to clean himself a bit. "No no ! Espeon ! I said, use shadowball ! Not morning sun !" Paul ignored Ash once again.

The outraged Gyrados prepared for a third attack, but Paul wouldn't have it. Before the Gyrados could do anything, he shot a huge Shadowball at the pokemon, making it fly back with huge force. The Gyrados did not get up. It was already KO ? It was even weaker than he has expected ! _"A weak pokemon like you doesn't even deserve to battle me !" _Paul readied another shadowball, aiming it at the KO gyrados.

" NO ! Espeon come back !" Just as Paul had been about to release his shadowball, a red veil overcame his sight, and he could feel himself getting sucked away. The locks in the pokeball shot into place, and he was captured. "Is Gyrados okay ? I'm so sorry ! He looks seriously hurt ! I'll help you to get him to the pokemon center !" Paul screeched in anger and clawed at the inside of the pokeball. _Nobody ! NOBODY just locked him away ! How dare Ash ! HOW DARE HE ?_

...

"So... how is Gyrados doing ?" Ash asked carefully. Crasher answered with a sigh. " He's gonna live. I'm more worried about yer pokemon ta be honest...If your pokemon behaves like that, yer doing something terribly wrong." Paul could hear a soft sigh coming from Ash. "It's a bit of a... heavy topic...He is not my pokemon... I... I had this rival, Paul. Do you know him ?" He could hear a scoff from the gym leader Crasher. " Yea I do, the guy practically tortured his pokemon ! I almost kicked him outta ma Gym... The way he talked about pokemon... Unforgivable ! Why ya ask ?" Ash was quiet for a moment. "Just two days ago he was found dead at a riverbank... This used to be his Espeon..."

The silence stretched. "...I understand. This pink lil critter was taught never ta show mercy... He was just doin' what his trainer always taught 'm ta do..." Paul felt himself become light as Ash called him out of his pokeball. "Hey espeon..." Paul gave him an angry glare and then looked away from Ash. _"Pikachu ! Espeon ! What were you thinking ? You almost killed that gyrados !" _Paul stared at the yellow rodent. _"He was weak. He was unworthy." _Pikachu's cheeks sparked in annoyance, but Ash spoke before Pikachu could say anything. "Espeon. It was wrong of you to attack that Gyrados. It was already down ! Why did you try to... Why didn't you listen to me Espeon ? Weren't we a team ?... "

For a small moment, Paul felt a small pang of guilt. Ash had taken him in, cared for him, trained him... And this is how he repaid him ?... But he couldn't bring himself to listen to Ash's commands, it felt as if he was following the orders of a three year old ! Nurse Joy entered the waiting room. "Crasher Wake ? Your Gyrados is awake, you can come to see him now." The gymleader stood up and turned to Paul. "Listen up ya pink pussycat, I know it sucks fer ya that yer trainer is dead, but do ya wanna do the same to me by killing ma Gyrados ? I suggest you forget the past and move on." The Gymleader sighed and then followed the nurse without another word.

Paul sighed. _I guess people hate me after all. Even as a pokemon they dislike me..._ Suddenly a weird thought popped up in his head. What if Ash decided he didn't want him ? What if he would just be released in the wild to fend for his own, without ever having someone around him. He was a human. He wasn't a pokemon. To live in a world of pokemon alone would kill him. What if he was caught by some trainer who didn't care for him ? What if he would just be dumped in a computer box, waiting, hoping, wishing for his trainer to call him out for a battle, or a praise, or acknowledgement ? At least Ash carried him along. Acknowledged him.

He didn't want to be released. He clearly remember the pained look on Chimchar's face as he sent the pokemon away. Back then he hadn't cared. But right now he realized what Chimchar must've felt. Paul stared at Ash. The pokeball with the black P burned into it was still in his hand. Paul jumped onto Ash's lap and tried to explain. _"Please don't send me into the wild ! Please keep me ! I'll try to listen, even though you're stupid ! Really ! I will try ! Just please don't release me ! Please please !" _Ash sighed and petted Paul. "You should really keep it down Espeon, this is a Pokemon Center...I need to think for a moment okay ? Don't follow me. Just wait here."

"_Are you happy now Espeon ?... This is charmeleon all over again..." _Before Paul could ask what that had meant, Pikachu had followed Ash. Paul went outside, but the setting sun did not comfort him the way the morning sun had. He scratched idly in the dirt as he once again let his mind explore the depths of the other dimension. He didn't move from his spot in front of the pokemon center.

When the sun disappeared, Paul walked inside of the pokemon center. Surely Ash would be done thinking. Right ? There was no way Ash would leave him to sleep on a cold floor. At least, that's what Paul hoped. He arrived at Ash's room, and he nudged the door open. He was surprised to see that Pikachu's sleeping basket was not around. Ash had really wanted to be alone. Paul carefully jumped on Ash's bed, and stared at Ash's sleeping face. It was very obvious that he had been crying. Paul let his ears hang down in guilt.

He hadn't meant to make Ash cry... Who knew Ash would take it that bad ? Paul sighed. There was nothing he could do for now. Nothing but hope that Ash would give him another chance.

~...~

Paul was floating. He had no weight. He was nothing but his thoughts. A chaotic mess of hundreds of other thoughts drifted through the air. Paul could hear them, but he knew none of the voices could hear him. Or each other for that matter. Some of the voices were screaming, some were laughing, crying, talking, all to themselves.

Paul was in the other dimension. He could feel the solid world hiding behind a thin veil. Images floated through the air. _They must be the dreams of the people and pokemon sleeping in this pokemon center... _Paul turned to the dream that was closest to him. It was Ash's. Curiosity overtook Paul, and he slipped into the dream.

The sun shone, and Ash was standing on an open field. He was battling. Paul was surprised to see a grim looking version of himself in his human form on the other side of the battlefield. It was a double battle. A Torterra and Gliscor stood next to each other, facing an Espeon, and a Charmeleon. Gliscor jumped forward and delivered a devastating blow to Espeon, who flew back and landed on a ground with a loud thud. The torterra used a body slam on the charmeleon, and the pokemon was left on the ground, paralyzed with pain.

"_No ! No ! Why didn't you use Shadowball Espeon ? Why did you try Psychic ? And Charmeleon, why didn't you avoid that body slam ? Why won't you listen ?" _The espeon turned it's head and gave Ash a dirty look. "_ You are weak. You are pathetic. We do not listen because you are not worthy of it !" _The dream Paul let out a howling laugh. "_You say you treat pokemon well, but your pokemon seem to disagree ! Even my espeon, raised to obey any command, disobeys." _Suddenly the dream started changing. The bright sun turned a dark black, and the trees started wavering like bad 3d images.

The pokemon disappeared, and the dream Paul started to rot away. His eyes rolled back in their sockets, and his skin grew a sickly color. Murkrow appeared, and started pecking at the rotting flesh. But the dream Paul was still very much alive. He screamed, thrashing weakly, as the bird pokemon were ripping him apart. Ash was crying, and was attempting to reach Paul. "No Paul ! Don't leave ! Please ! I have to tell-" But just as he was about to finish, the corpse broke apart, leaving only dust.

Then everything disappeared, and Ash was left on the ground.

The dream ended so abruptly that Paul jolted awake. Ash was sitting upright, tears running over his cheeks and shivers running through his body. "Es-espeon..." Before Paul could answer, Ash had wrapped his arms firmly around him in a crushing hug. "I'm so sorry, so sorry so so so sorry ! I- I never should have asked you t- to fight ! P-Paul, he...I...Paul... Paul is gone ! I'm never going to see him again, hes gone...Oh god..." Paul kept silent as Ash clung to him, crying. "I was going to tell him... B-but... Oh god... Espeon... He's dead." Paul rubbed his nose against Ash's cheek awkwardly to comfort him.

"_I'm still here, idiot..." _Ash cried until he fell asleep, but Paul could not allow himself to sleep. He was watching over Ash. He lied next to Ash and watched the boy's face until the sun rose.

**A/N: That was chapter 2 people. I might get a chapter 3 up, but I am currently working on another story. Once again, the next chapter depends on your reviews and my willingness to update. Greetings from Lanny-Sama !**

**Reviews always get a response !**


	3. Chapter 3

**I was overwhelmed by all the enthusiastic reviews that were submitted when I uploaded chapter 2. So as I promised, here is chapter 3. I hope you all enjoy it :)**

**Chapter 3**

The next morning, Paul decided that it was better that Ash didn't know that Paul had been lying next to him the entire night. He quietly stood up and made his way to the kitchen of the pokemon center. He felt like he should apologize. He activated his psychic and opened all the cupboards in the kitchen, looking for something he could give to Ash to make up for …. for what ? Paul stared into empty space.

"_Did I do something wrong ?" _He sat motionlessly, the items in the cupboards floating gently through the air. Paul wasn't paying attention. His emotions controlled his powers, and soon, the room was filled with floating objects. "_I must have done something to upset Ash. Something worse than disobeying him. Even an idiot like Ash wouldn't get this hurt by a bit of disobedience...Right ? _Paul sniffed at an old pancake mix. Pancakes would make a nice breakfast..._ Wait ...Why am I trying to win Ash's affection ? His affection means nothing to me ! I don't like him ! I CAN'T like him ! __**I can't allow myself to get hurt like that again.**__" _At that thought, the countless floating objects clattered to the ground, creating a shock wave of sound that resonated through the large room.

Paul dashed out of the room and ran out of the pokemoncenter. He kept running until there was only blissful silence around him. He should never had trusted ash. He should never have tried to be friends with that moron. He knew that his sexual orientation would come to haunt him once again, as it had all his life. Paul choked back a small sob. This was no time for crying. Remembering the past wouldn't help. Paul shook his head and jumped, leaping from tree to tree, just enjoying the strong wind blowing through his fur.

Paul had always realized that Ash was not the person he could be friends with. Ash was the only person who still believed that he had some good in him. Becoming friends with Ash was impossible. Paul knew that if he had allowed himself to become friends with Ash, he would not be able to keep himself from falling in love. He would have crossed that line, and he would have been rejected once again. So he had kept his distance, acted coldly and mean. But now that he had finally allowed himself to love, he was unable to show it. Ash would never understand a pokemon, let alone return feelings of love.

"_It-...it happened again..."_ Paul bit his lip to keep himself from crying, and took shelter in a hole located beneath a big tree. "_Why can't I just fall in love with a girl for once ?" _

Paul didn't move from his hidinspot. He just waited. He had nothing to do. Two parts of himself were battling in his mind. He wanted Ash to come find him. He wanted Ash to be worried. He wanted Ash to be happy when he found him. He wanted Ash to love him. But he knew that he would only be causing himself pain. Even as a human, he had been rejected by everyone he had approached. His parents, his family, his friends... Even strangers rejected him. So he had put up a barrier.

He had been very quick to let down his guard once someone had broken through the walls he had build around himself. But in every single case, after learning about Paul's true self, they would go. Leaving Paul to recover all by himself. The situation as it was now was torture. He could not utter the words to Ash, he could not speed up the painful blow that was to come. He knew Ash would reject him, but he could not extinguish the small flame of hope. He would remain hopeful, while never getting what he hoped for.

That was even worse than getting rejected. Knowing he wouldn't be rejected, but at the same time knowing he would never be accepted. Paul closed his eyes and curled up. He didn't want to think anymore. He just wanted to sleep it all away.

….

"Espeon ?... Espeon ?" Ash was running around the pokemoncenter, a worried look in his eyes. "Nurse joy ! Have you seen my Espeon ?" Nurse joy shook her head. " I'm very sorry, but I haven't seen your Espeon..." Ash grit his teeth. Did Espeon run away ? Was Ash not a worthy trainer ? _No. I musn't think like that. Espeon is... Espeon is going through a though phase... _Dawn came walking down the stairs, yawning loudly, her piplup following at her feet. She halted in her tracks as she spotted Ash. "Ash ? What's wrong ? Where's Espeon ?" Ash looked away. "I don't know. We... We should go looking for him. I'm sure he'll manage... but..."

Dawn nodded. "I understand Ash...We should tell Brock that we're off to look for Espeon, but I think he won't be joining us now..." Ash gave her a dumbfounded look. " Didn't you hear all that noise early in the morning ? A wild pokemon snuck into the pokemon center and destroyed almost everything ! Brock is helping Nurse Joy with cleaning."

Ash walked into the kitchen, and indeed, it was a horrible mess. Pots and pans were scattered everywhere, and flour was drifting through the room like dust. Brock was collecting the countless pans, and he looked up as soon as he saw Ash and Dawn. "What's going on ? It's a rare thing to see you both up so early !" Dawn giggled a bit, but Ash couldn't spare a smile. "Brock, have you seen Espeon ? I can't seem to find him..." Brock raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Espeon ? I thought he was sleeping in your room..." Ash sighed. "Dawn and I are going to look for him..." Brock nodded. "I'll stay here in case he comes back, okay ?" Ash gave him a small smile and nodded enthusiastically. "Thanks Brock !"

Ash ran upstairs. He grabbed his backpack and stuffed all his stuff in it, should their search continue for multiple days. He was taking no risks. He needed to find Espeon, even if he had to search this land twice. "Ash, I'm ready ! Let's go looking for Espeon !" Ash nodded and ran outside.

Dawn and Ash searched the entire day. Every pokemon they had was searching along with them, turning every stone they found twice before moving on. Each of the pokemon could feel how important this was to Ash. But even when they searched with all they had, Espeon was nowhere to be found. The pokemon were getting tired, and Pachirisu was already out cold. The sun was close to setting, and a few wild hoothoot's were already waking up.

Ash kept on searching. But Dawn had already given up, her pokemon already called back, and her piplup sleeping in her arms.

"Ash. Even if we continue to look now, we won't find him. It's going to be dark pretty soon. Maybe Espeon is at the pokemon center ?" Ash shook his head in determination. "No way Dawn. I really need to find Espeon ! I can't... I can't just leave him like that !" Dawn was quiet for a moment, but when she spoke, it made cold shiver runs over Ash's spine.

"Are you really worried about Espeon ? Is it really the pokemon you care about right now ? Or the trainer he used to have ?" Ash halted in his movements. "Don't say that Dawn. Please... Not... Not now..." Dawn gave Ash a sad look. He was trembling a little, and quiet sobs shook his shoulders. Dawn walked up to Ash and put her arm over his back. "Let's go back okay ?"

Ash didn't answer, but neither did he complain when Dawn started leading him towards the direction of the pokemon center.

….

Paul woke up when the sun was already setting. He stared at the sunset. In his eyes, it had lost all the beauty it had once held. He hated sunsets. They reminded him of the countless times people had left him at the light of such a sunset. Paul grit his teeth. His futile hope was still there. It had it's own voice, and it was constantly speaking to him, feeding him lies. _Is Ash looking for me ? He likes me, so he must be. Right ? Does he miss me ? Does he like me ? _A part of him **wanted **Ash to be looking for him. He wanted to believe that this love had a chance.

But the other part looked at reality. Ash would never fall in love with a filthy pokemon, especially not Paul. Ash seemed to dislike him the most out of all his pokemon. Even if Paul would suddenly regain his human form, Ash would probably just push him away with disgust... Suddenly, Paul stopped dead in his tracks. He had ran away from Ash, right after almost murdering a foe's pokemon ! What if Ash... had already given up on him ? What if he was just continuing with his journey ? Leaving him forever ? Paul broke into a dash. He needed to find Ash. Right now. Right now ! Even if Ash couldn't love him the way Paul wanted, he would still he able to be friends with Ash.

But that wasn't possible if Paul wasn't together with Ash.

The pokemon center came into sight, and Paul was shaking on his paws in anxiety. This moment. It could break him. Or it could mend some of the places where he had already been broken. He dashed into the pokemon center flew up the stairs to where Ash's room was, frantically looking around for any sign of the trainer and his dumb groupies. The ran through the kitchen, almost bumping into someone who was on the floor, cleaning up pans. But Paul ignored it, and dashed on. The door to the apartment was also blasted open with Psychic, and Paul jumped inside.

The room was empty.

All of Ash's scattered clothes were gone, the backpack was no longer lying at the door, and there was no Ash to be found. Still, Paul didn't want to give up. He activated his psychic powers again, and started throwing around any object around him in an attempt to find Ash. He could hear trainers running up the stairs, wondering what was causing the loud noises. _Why isn't Ash here ? Why is he playing this cruel prank on me ! _AShelgon appeared in the opening of the door, quickly followed by a few other pokemon, some curious trainers running in after them.

"It's an Espeon ! What is it doing here of all places ? Where is it's trainer ? We better restrain it for now, Go shelgon !" Paul suppressed a panicked sob, and dashed towards the window. He jumped out, and tried to soften his landing with psychic. But his psychic powers wavered slightly, and he took a short tumble. He ran away as fast as he could.

_Ah. S-so he dumped me huh ?... T-that's f-fine. I can... I can h-handle... this. I totally saw it coming. Y-yea. _Paul felt pathetic. Again. Again he had let it happen. He had allowed himself to like someone, and like before, that person left him. Paul refused to believe that he was crying, even when small tears were dripping in his fur.

But his sadness was soon replaced by chaotic panic as a gloved hand closed tightly around his tail and roughly yanked him off the ground. Paul let out a pained shriek, but it was muffled by a black sack that was pulled over his head. Paul struggled against the hands that were pushing him roughly inside, but it was no use. The bag was closed over his head, and he could hear cruel laughter. "Best catch we had in ages ! The boss will be very pleased !" The person carrying Paul ran off, and soon Paul had lost any sense of direction. He didn't know what up or down was, and he was on the verge of breaking down.

Then, the bag opened and he landed face-first into a cold cage. He could hear a slot clicking into place behind him, and he turned around with a weak squeal. Team Rocket. He used to think they were no threat at all, but right now, fear induced adrenaline was rushing through his veins. He was still crying.

A stun gun was shoved between the bars, and a harsh shock ran through Paul's body. His legs gave out, and he fell on the cold floor of the cage, his paws twitching in pain. " Don't even think about escaping. That was just a light shock. The bars of the cage are under high-voltage, so see this as a light warning." Paul's cage was lifted off the ground, and put on the Team rocket balloon. "Liftoff !"

Paul curled up in a small ball and tried to take comfort in the setting sun. He knew the rockets were staring at him, big grins on their faces. "Hehehe ! Even if the boss decides the thing is useless, it can still be sold for a nice price !" A kick to the cage made Paul twitch in surprise. The Rocket's laughed again, and started squabbling about their success. Paul tried to tune them out, beginning to clean himself out of pure nervousness. "Yea totally ! Besi-...Hey... What's th-"

A loud ripping sound met Paul's ears, and gravity seemed to lose its grip. "GAAHHH ! THE BALLOON ! We're FALLING !" Paul looked around frantically, his cage falling down together with the balloon. He was falling to his death ! Again ! But then a high-pitched screech reached his ears. "_Staravia! Staravia ! Espeon ! Over here !" N_ever before had Paul been so glad to see Ash's Staravia. He slammed his body against the bars of the cage, but they didn't budge. Ash's staravia was pecking at the bars, while trying to keep the cage airborne. "Cacnea ! Use Pin missle !" Paul turned his head, only to see hundreds to tiny spikes flying towards them. They hit staravia , and the bird pokemon let out a weak cry. "_R-Ravia ! Espeon, you... you're too heavy for me ! I can't... hold...on... Ack !" _

Staravia's claws let go of the cage, and Paul tumbled down again, a thunderbolt shooting past him, and hitting the rockets. Before Paul could try to see where he was, the side of the cage got stuck on a branch. Paul shook on his paws, a huge abyss beneath him. "Espeon ! ESPEON !" Paul could hear Ash's voice, and his heart leapt up in joy. "_I'm here ! Ash Ash Ash ! I'm here I'm here ! Please save me please please please ! I don't want to die again ! Ash !" _For a small moment it was quiet, then Ash spoke again. " Try to be still Espeon ! I'll climb down with this rope to get you ! I sent Staravia to get some help !"

Paul nodded, and shakily began cleaning his paws. It had become a habit to clean himself when he was stressed. It seemed to take ages before Ash appeared by the cage. But Paul didn't mind. As soon as he saw Ash he mewled loudly. "_Ash ! Thank arceus you're here ! I'm so sorry I ran away ! Please take me back ! Please !" _Ash just smiled his trademark smile. "It'll be okay Espeon ! I just know it !" Paul nodded nonetheless. Just Ash's presence was enough to calm him somewhat. Ash grabbed one of the bar's, and tried to pull it. Paul noticed that the electricity was gone. _Or maybe it wasn't there in the first place... _ "Ugh ! It's not working !" Paul tried to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "_Ofcourse it doesn't worke idiot... It's a steel cage ! You can't just bend it with your bare hands !" _Ash grabbed a stone that was sticking out of the abyss's wall, and started slamming it against the bars.

Ash looked exhausted, sweat dripping down his face, and his breath shallow. "One... One last time should do it !" Ash lifted the stone and brought it down with as much force as he could muster. The cage broke. So did the rope that Ash was hanging on. Paul stared as Ash was tumbling down the abyss. "_No... I won't let this happen !" _Paul jumped after Ash, catching up with Ash quickly. He then clawed his sharp nail into Ash's skin, closed his eyes, and used all the power he had.

For a tiny moment, Paul though he had failed. That Ash and himself were still plummeting down a huge abyss. But when he opened his eyes, they were floating in the air, a blue aura surrounding them. Psychic. Paul breathed out in an attempt to calm himself, and nuzzled his nose into Ash. Ash was trembling, and his arms were around Espeon. "W...Whoa... I don't... Don't ever want to do that again..." Paul nodded. He tried to lift them up, to get them back up on the ledge they fell from, but the power that he was trying to call was too big for him now. Paul was exhausted. It had been a long time since he had rested, and restored his powers. He shivered when he realized that this was his last use of psychic. Just imagine that he had used Psychic only once more. Then he and Ash would have died.

Paul closed his eyes, and began to lessen the power of his psychic. Slowly they floated downwards. A thick forest greeted them, and Paul tried to maneuver them around the countless branches and trunks. When Ash's feet touched the ground, Paul let go of his Psychic, almost falling asleep. "I don't think we can get back up when we're exhausted like this... Come on Espeon, we should go look for a place to sleep." Paul barely had the energy to nod, and just lied in Ash's arms.

It didn't take long before it was completely dark. It was impossible to find a good resting place in the dark. So Ash curled up beneath one of the many large trees, Espeon lying next to him.

….

The next morning was a strange one. It was silent. Everywhere around them it was completely silent. The trees were high, and it was almost impossible to see the sky. "Staravia won't be able to spot us like this Espeon... We have to get to a high point !" Ash set Espeon down, and sprang into a tree. Only to slide down a second later. "These trees are way too smooth ! I can't hold on ! I'm afraid we'll just have to walk around until we find a mountaintop or a climbable tree." Paul nodded. He still felt weak from the attack by the rockets and the near-death- experience from yesterday, but it wouldn't help just to sit around and cry about it.

The forest around them was still eerily quiet, and not a single wild pokemon could be seen. Even Paul couldn't detect any lifeforms with his psychic powers. It scared him. There was something drifting around in the air here, and the other dimension was closer than ever. Though not in a good way. It was closer, but it held nothing. It was emptiness. Paul was sure that Ash could feel it as well.

They kept on walking in silence, until they found a small river. Ash drank some water and stored some in a bottle he was carrying with him. Then he sat down on a rock near the river bedding and stared into the water. Paul sat next to him. It was silent for a while, and then Ash spoke up. "This river... It reminds me of Paul..." Paul stared at the small river. Not a single magicarp to be seen. Ash spoke again. "You know Espeon... I always thought that Paul and I were friends. I missed him when I didn't see him for a long time, I liked battling with him, and I always wished he would stay around for lunch or dinner." Ash took a deep breath. "Espeon. You... You were close to him right ?... Does... Did he like me ?... Was I more than a nuisance to him ?..."

Paul stared at Ash. He wasn't sure what to do, or what to think. But before he could answer, Ash went on. "Heh... Yea. I thought so. He must've disliked me a whole lot... But... even when knowing that I was only bothering him with my presence, I can't help but wanting to be with him." Paul stared at Ash, completely astounded. What was going on here ? Ash... Liked him ? The flame of hope exploded in Paul's chest, almost burning him from the inside, only to be extinguished a moment later. "B-but now it's all too late Espeon. All t-too late ! He's dead... he's dead ! J-just as I f-found some courage t-to tell him, he just... dies ! How...I..." Ash hugged his knees and started crying, his pained sobs echoing through the silent forest.

Paul swallowed. He shouldn't start crying now. He should be comforting Ash. Because it was the only thing he could do for the trainer now. He mewled softly and nuzzled against Ash. "_I'm here Ash... You just... don't know it. But I'm here. Please stop crying..." _Ash hiccuped and hugged Espeon. "I'm sorry Es-Espeon. I'm s-sure this is a p-painful subject for y-you too..." Paul rolled his eyes and after a small hesitation he gave Ash a small lick on the cheek. Ash smiled through his tears, and then wiped them away. "Yea, You're right Espeon, we should move on. Just sitting here and crying won't do anything... Hey Espeon ! Let's play a game ! Tag ! You're it !"

Paul stared at Ash as the trainer ran into the forest, daring Paul to catch him. It only took Paul a few seconds to set away his pride and join Ash in his silly game. Normally Ash wouldn't have been a match, but Paul wasn't at his best at the moment, so it took a long time for him to catch Ash. They were both tired from running, and they sat down at another tree. "Now I'm hungry... I don't think playing tag was such a brilliant idea after all..." Paul sighed. He hadn't eaten for quite a while, but being hungry didn't bother him that much. Berries grow in every forest, even deserted ones. It shouldn't take long to run into some fresh oran berries.

Surely enough, a few hours later, a big bush filled with big blue oran berries greeted them. "Ah ! Oran berries ! Come on Espeon ! Let's go eat !" Paul was too busy stuffing himself with oran berries to answer. But just when he was about to eat another one, a huge blast of Psychic power rippled through the other dimension, making Paul collapse under the sheer weight of it. The huge power was pressing down on him, and he could only barely stay concious. As soon as it had come, it vanished, leaving Paul lying on the ground, breathing heavily. He got up shakily and turned to Ash. He was out cold.

_Ash !... Unconscious...No wonder... That immense pressure... No wonder it's so quiet around these parts...I'm a psychic pokemon, and still this psychic attack almost knocked me out ! If I hadn't eaten that much oran berries it might have... _Paul shook his head to clear his mind. Then he quickly made his way to Ash. "_Ash ! Get up !" _Ash gave no response, so Paul took matters in his own hands. He extracted his claws and swiped them over Ash's cheek.

"YEEEOUCH !" Paul mewled and Ash looked over to him. "Espeon ?... What happened ? Why was I asleep ? ... Ugh... My head hurts..." Paul suddenly tensed up. The same psychic presence revealed itself. It was softer this time, more careful. Held back. It was swiftly approaching Paul and Ash's location. This time, it was not a huge weight crashing down on them, but a question that drifted through the air. "_Those who rest in my forest. Leave if you have no purpose here. If you do have a genuine goal that requires my help, then follow my power and visit me." _

Paul stood still for a moment, mesmerized by the pureness of the power that flowed through his soul. When he looked over to Ash he could see that he also felt the pure power radiating through the forest. Ash stood up and looked around.

"Did you hear that Espeon ?..."

Paul nodded.

"I think we should follow it."

Paul was already on his way.

**Okay then. That concludes Chapter 3. It was in the fridge for a week because I had a lot on my mind. But now it's vacation and I managed to work out this chapter. I hope you all like it. **

**Reviews always get replies. (Unless you review anonymously ofcourse.) **

**See you in Chap 4.**

**Lanny-Sama out !**


	4. Chapter 4

**So here it is. Chapter 4. It took me some time. But I hope you will all enjoy this new chapter :) **

_** EDIT: I uploaded the wrong chapter yesterday. I'm the biggest idiot alive. The chapter you read ( if you read it ) Was a rejected plot ! Oh deary ! I am very sorry ^^; But this is the true chapter 4**_

**Chapter 4**

Paul quickly made his way towards the source of the strange power radiating trough the forest, Ash following him. They walked for some time, the strange Psychic wave rippling over the lands every few minutes. Ash stopped walking, and softly spoke up. "Hey... erm... Espeon. Wait up for a second." Paul turned to Ash. He looked worried, maybe even frightened. "I'm starting to doubt out decision. I mean... Maybe this pokemon is dangerous ! And how will the others find us if we keep moving away from them?" For a small moment, Paul hesitated. Was it really a good idea ? Did he truly have a reason for coming here ?... No. He wasn't a coward ! Paul shook his head defiantly and quickly walked on, Ash running after him with a small "Hey!". He wasn't going to back down now ! Besides... Something told him that this was the right thing to do. Something with powers like that...

Paul stopped for a small moment. Maybe, just maybe, he would have a chance to become human again ! He could finally be together with Ash ! ….. But what... what if Ash hadn't really meant it ? Paul grit his teeth. "_I shouldn't be thinking like this... Ash isn't the kind of person to lie over something like this!" _But the doubt remained. _"Should I give up what I have now ? Should I take the risk of heartbreak again ?..." _Paul shook his head furiously. "_I don't even know if it can turn me back human ! There's no way ! Just-"_

"Whoa... Espeon ! Look at that !" Paul looked up. A great mountain rose up in front of them, covered in countless big trees. A strange cave lied just ahead. "Would you look at those colours Espeon..." The entire cave was filled with bright minerals that changed colors. Yellow, green, red, grey, black, purple, pink... Sometimes, a small spark of electricity would run over the stones, or a small flame would erupt from the ceiling. A thin coat of water covered the floor of the cave. "It's … It's almost as if all the elements were brought together in one cave..." Paul stared into the cave. Ash had hit the nail on the head. The other dimension was fluctuating, changing in every possible way. Fire, Grass, Ice, Electric, Ghost, Dark, Fighting... All of the elemental en supernatural powers rippled through the stones of the cave.

Paul hesitantly walked past Ash. The cave was unnerving, and Paul wanted to get out as soon as possible. They came all this way, so turning around was not an option. As soon as Ash stepped into the cave, the ground and rocks behind him twisted until the opening was gone, as if it'd never been there. The voice echoed through the cave, making it seem like it was everywhere at once. "_I sense your discomfort. Do not fear. I will not harm you in any way. To find me, follow the red gems." _Paul tried to stop himself from shivering as the voice left them once again. "Wh- ! Follow the red gems ? I don't see any-" As soon as Ash opened his mouth, a bright trail of red stones rose from the stony ground of the cave, small flames erupting from the cracks they left in their wake.

Paul shivered, and broke into a run, he didn't want to stay in this cave longer than he absolutely had to. Ash was running right alongside with him, so Paul assumed Ash was thinking the same thing. After a few minutes of running, Paul had no idea where they were. It was as if the cave sucked away any sense of reality. The two dimensions overlapped to strongly that it was putting Paul off balance. Was he a form of power in a world made of power ? Was he a solid form in a solid world ? He couldn't tell anymore. At a certain moment, it seemed they weren't moving at all, the stones all looking the same, no wind striking past their faces...

It lasted ages, and seconds at the same time. But then, they stopped moving. They had arrived. Neither of them spoke. They were too caught up. The voice spoke again. "_Welcome Ash. Welcome ….Espeon." _A great white creature descended from the ceiling of the cave. A yellow ring around it's horse-like body, and countless big shards floating around him.

_Arceus!_

There, floating before them, was the pokemon that created the entire world and its inhabitants. Paul felt his legs go weak, and he had to try his best to keep his composure. He could hear Ash gasp in fear and surprise. "Ar... Arceus..."

"_Yes. That is indeed the name you humans have given me." _Arceus landed softly on the cave floor, and the countless gems in the cavewalls gave off a beautiful soft glow, all in a different colour. "_Ash. And... Espeon. You wound up here with a reason. The fact that you did not turn around even after feeling my power proves that." _Paul knew what Arceus was implying. The obvious pause as Arceus called him Espeon made that very clear. The legendary pokemon knew that Paul was not a true pokemon. Paul stared at the cave ground, and he started licking his paw in an attempt to ease his nerves. Arceus stared them down, and Paul could hear Ash gulp.

It was quiet for what seemed an excruciating long time. Arceus was the one who spoke first. "_I see. Both of you do not wish to speak in each others company. Very well. Espeon. Come." _Paul made a startled expression, and shot an distrusting look at Arceus. "_Do not worry you. As I told you, I will not harm you. You have no ill intentions, so there is no reason for me to punish you." _

Paul followed after the huge legendary pokemon. He never liked the legendaries. Way too arrogant, too hard to break. How many times had there been when the legendary pokemon set out on a lovely stroll to destroy human kind ? One... two... Well, too many times. Paul just hoped that this one wouldn't go angry-groudon on him. The big floating legendary slowed to a stop. Paul was about to ask why they didn't walk further away from Ash, when he noticed that Ash was nowhere in sight. Paul bit his cheek and kept his questions to himself. He had already embarrassed himself enough. No need to sounds stupid AND annoy a legendary pokemon.

"_Paul." _Paul jumped up when Arceus spoke his name. "B_efore you ask, yes. I know you are a human. How I knew this ? I would never have needed my powers to see it. It is obvious that you were never a pokemon in nature." _Paul stared at Arceus, and it was quiet for some time. The only sounds were the dripping of water, the soft burning of flames, and the sound of small sparks. _"I know what you want from me as well Paul. But the question is. Do you deserve it ?" _Paul stared at the Legendary God, and swallowed.

Arceus chuckled. _"You know what you want Paul. I know what you want. What is keeping you from taking it ?" _Paul let his eyes fall to the ground. "My fears." Arceus didn't say anything and drifted away slowly. Paul followed him. _"The touch of Mew is upon you. I doubt that even I would be able to truly return you to your true form. But there is a way." _Arceus stopped dead in his tracks, and all movement around them stopped. When Paul spoke, it echoed throughout the long cave. "Tell me. Please tell me Arceus !" Arceus turned towards Paul and bowed his head. _"I shall cast an ancient spell. It will turn you back into a human, but only after you have found love, if you cannot find love, you shall not be able to turn back into a human." _Paul's gaze dropped to the floor. It felt as if a Frosglass had crawled into him, turning him into ice entirely.

This was impossible. He knew that it had been too good to be true. _"I shall leave you now. Choose wisely." _Paul didn't move. This was the only chance he had. He would have to find a way to make Ash love him. As an Espeon. A foul pink creature, used for battling, not meant to build a relationship with... Paul let his head hang and he stared at his paws. Probably the closest thing he would have for hands for the rest of his life.

"I will find a way... I will find it... I promise you that Ash.."

…

Ash sat in the great cave, the countless glowing stones illuminating his face. He was sitting on a bland looking stone, holding Espeon's pokeball in his hands. "_Hello Ash." _Ash let out a startled yelp and jumped up at Arceus' great voice. "I-I'm sorry I sat on your... Stone, but I needed to sit, and think.." Arceus didn't say anything, and softly sat down on a yellow glowing rock. Ash spoke up a few moments later. "He wants to be rid of me doesn't he." Arceus didn't speak. " He wants to be back with Paul again..." Arceus didn't move. " Please... Arceus. Bring him back. I don't care if he hates me, I don't care if he rejects me, I just... want him to live again. Please..." Arceus turned his head. " _What would you be willing to pay for him to live again ?" _Ash's eyes got a determined gleam, and he clenched his fists. " Anything." Arceus bowed his head and stared into Ash's eyes.

"_Even... your love ?" _

Silence echoed throughout the cave. " Wh... What do you mean Arceus ?" Arceus floated away from ash, into a previously nonexistent cave. "_ I have a spell. A spell that will return Paul to you. But there is a conditions. This condition, is very important. You must forget about the one you love, and give your love another. Only one other on this planet carries the other half of this spell. Once you love eachother, it shall activate, and bring Paul back to life." _Ash's breath caught in his throat, a cold feeling clenching his insides, and making him sick. "Arceus... That is impossible.." Ash whispered brokenly. "I can't love anyone else but Paul. Even if I could, I would never be able to find that once person roaming this wide earth... The conditions to this spell... are impossible..."

Arceus shook his head slowly. "_It is all I can do, and all that has a chance of succeeding. There is one thing I am certain of. The person you need to find is already closer than you think." _

"_Take you time Ash. I will return shortly."_

…

"_I see you have made your choice, Paul." P_aul didn't answer. Knowing Arceus, it already knew the answer Paul was going to give. Arceus nodded solemnly. " _Ash has made his choice as well, even though he himself might not realize it yet." _Paul licked his paw again, even though it was at it's cleanest._ "Then I shall now cast the spell upon you. Do brace yourself, this spell is a heavy one." _Paul nodded and stood up, readying himself for the spell.

"_Paul. I wish you and Ash the greatest of luck." _

Then Arceus threw back it's head, a loud roar vibrating through the cave. The countless glowing stones started shining brightly, until Paul couldn't see anymore. The other dimension overflowed with godly power, pressing down on Paul. He could feel his legs giving out beneath him as the power dawned onto him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't do anything.

He passed out.

...

Arceus returned sooner than Ash expected, a strange flickering accompanying him. _"I sense you have made you decision Ash." _Ash nodded. This tiny chance at bringing Paul back was better than nothing. "Thank you Arceus... For this chance I mean...I'm thankful..." He let his head hang. Arceus' form twitched slightly, and for a tiny second, Ash thought he could see right through him, but he brushed the thought aside. "_I shall cast the spell upon you, and the one you must find. Ready yourself, this spell can be quite heavy for you." _

Ash clenched his eyes tightly shut when all the stones around him started shining brightly. "Aack !" Ash fell back and covered his closed eyes, the light so strong it seemed to burn through his arms and eyelids all together. The light did not yield, and a small moment later, Ash lost conciousness.

…

"AH!" Ash jumped up from his spot beneath the tree he had been sleeping under. He breathed heavily. "A dream ?... Was it all a dream ?" Ash quickly looked around. " Espeon ? Are you here ? Espeon ?" He took a few steps, only to trip over something. Something pink, and very angry! A loud screech sounded from his feet, and a clearly confused and angry Espeon jumped up and clawed at Ash's face. " Agh! Ow ow ow owww ! Espeon ! GAH ! It's me !" The scratching stopped, and Ash rubbed his hands over his face. "Ah..I stood on you tail didn't I ? Ouch. You didn't have to react this voilently..." Espeon seemed a bit confused, and was looking around frantically. "Es ? Peon Es ? Espeon !"

Ash sighed. "I wish I knew what you were saying Espeon..." Espeon gave him a bit of a foul look, and jumped into a nearby tree, curling up on a thick branch. Ash sighed. "You're never going to like me, are you Espeon ?" Espeon snored in response. Ash looked up at the sky. It was dark, and there were no stars to be seen. The rest of the forest was deadly silent. Ash felt tears bubbling up. "Arceus... It was just a dream. Nothing can ever bring Paul back..." He let himself fall back onto the ground, only to jump up a second later when a horrible pain shot up his back. " OUCH ! What the-"

Ash searched his jacket, and out came a softly glowing stone, it's colour's fluctuating every few minutes. Ash stared at the stone for a moment. Then he put the stone into his backpack. He lied down under the tree Espeon slept in, and closed his eyes.

"I want to bring him back Arceus... But I'm not sure I can, Arceus. I'm not sure if I _can_ love another..."

Paul lifted his head at the small whisper. He waited patiently until Ash's breathing slowed down, then he jumped down, and lied next to Ash. "_You don't have to love another Ash. I'm right here... But how can I make you see that ?"_

Paul closed his eyes and let sleep come to him. Once again, he found himself in the other dimension, floating silently in a place without mass. Previously, the dimension had bristled with countless dreams, awarenesses, creatures and plants. But now it seemed as if there were only two beings beside him present. A strange pulsing power flooded the dimension every few minutes, but to invade Arceus's mind would be a foolish thing to do. Ash's mind lay next to him, exposed as it would ever be. Paul drifted closer to Ash's mind, preparing to slip inside the dreams of the one he loved.

This time, Ash's dreams were too confusing to make any sense. Dawn, Brock, Paul, Ash, Pikachu... countless faces and sounds came by. But it was a peaceful dream, and Paul enjoyed the calm atmosphere in Ash's mind. He soon fell asleep, his mind still with Ash. "_Your mind is as beautiful as your body Ash." _

…

**EDIT: I uploaded the wrong chapter yesterday. I'm the biggest idiot alive. The chapter you read ( if you read it ) Was a rejected plot ! Oh deary ! I am very sorry ^^; But this is the true chapter 4.**

**A/N: Alright. So. I took my SWEET time updating this. (How long has it been ? Few months ? Half a year ?) Oh well. I updated this. I hope you all enjoy this. It is short in my opinion, but this is all I can do for now... Any questions ? Ask them and I shall answer. If you review you get an answer ! ( Only anonymous reviewers won't be getting a response, sorry.)**

**~_SIGNED_ REVIEWS ALWAYS GET AN ANSWER~**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was very hard for me to write.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: Well golly! I never thought I'd be writing for this story ever again! But when I got two "PLZMOAR" messages in one month, I decided I'd do it! Anyone who still reads this, you have Figiena1998 and Yana5 to thank for this chapter! I hope it's enough to make you all at least a teeny tiny bit happy :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. **

The forest is quiet, and Paul looks over the treetops. He didn't get a lot of sleep last night. He ponders on Arceus' words. And on Ash's. "I don't think I can love another..." A shiver runs up Paul's back, and he smiles. Arceus was a nice pokemon. He told Ash to love another. In any other case, Paul would've been devastated, but he knew that Arceus was giving him a great chance with this. If Ash let go of Paul... He would be open to Espeon Paul.

Paul licks his paws in thought, his tail twitching in renewed hope. There is still a chance ! A chance for both of us to be happy ! He jumps down from the treebranch he's sitting on, and carefully walks over to Ash. _Even though he's rubbish as a pokemon trainer, I should try my best to be a bit more … nice... _He smiles at Ash's sleeping face, amused by the tiny trail of drool hanging from the boy's lips. He blushes heavily. _If …. if I want to get closer... I better start... right now. _He leans forward, his pink paws on Ash's chest, and flicks his feline tongue over his cheek, close to the lips, but not quite daring to touch them just yet.

Ash stirs in his sleep, and he lets out an incoherent moan. Paul blushes at his action. _That was WAY over the line. WAY over the line. _He growls at himself, and his claws dig through Ash's clothing and into his chest. "...zzSNRTFRT ACK ! OW" Paul immediately draws back his claws and mewls apologetic to Ash. Ash stares at Espeon for a moment, and then a shaky laugh forms on his face. " Gee Espeon, can't you find a better way to wake me up ? I might just get a heart-attack from all those early-in-the-morning kitty-attacks !" _I said I was sorry ….. you should just learn to listen. _Ash sighs and looks away.

"We... We better get going Espeon... We need to find the others soon..." He brushes some dust off his pants and stretches himself. "Alright, we got a lot of traveling to do, so let's go!" He only takes two steps before coming to a halt again. "Eh... Espeon? Do you remember where we came from..?" Paul hisses in frustration. _Your idiocy is making it hard for me to be nicer to you, you know! _Paul closes his eyes and calls upon his psychic powers again, mapping the entire forest with his mind alone and scanning for a way out.

He finds it soon enough, in the form of a small pathway, too nearby to be coincidental. Paul smirks slightly. Arceus knows how to make things work. When he opens his eyes again, Ash' hands are cupping his head, and a worried expression is staring him right in the face. "Espeon? Are you okay?" Paul jerks himself away with a snarl, and quickly starts jogging to the path he'd found. Ash catches up with him and walks besides him from a safe distance, looking a bit dejected and disappointed.

"I'm sorry Espeon, I was just worried okay?" Paul ignores him, and it's silent for a moment before Ash' mutters almost inaudibly under his breath. "God, what did Paul DO to you to make you so mean?"

Paul comes to a dead stop.

His first idea is to attack, to become mad, to claw and screech, but he can't. Ash will have to stop loving the old, human Paul, and start liking the... the Espeon one.

Who is he kidding? It's so hopeless. What sane person would act on a _pokemon's_ love declaration? It's all idle hope, Arceus' help, it doesn't matter. People don't fall in love with pokemon. Besides, how would this curse ever break? A kiss? Hah, the idea of Ash kissing a pink feline's snout was as ridiculous as a hoppip defeating a salamence. Plainly impossible, insane.

His ears droop and he stares at the ground, the universe surrounding them suddenly bursting with dark energies and depressing thoughts. "Espeon?"

Ash kneels besides him, and a hand hesitantly rests between his drooping ears. "It's alright Espeon... You're with me okay? I won't... I won't mistreat you like Paul did. I promise." It's good he's starting to dislike Paul, it's a step in the right direction, it's favorable, and absolutely TERRIBLE.

Paul mewls and rubs his head into Ash' hand, fighting away a few tears. Ash' hesitant hand is soon replaces by a hug and Paul curls into it desperately. "Is it okay if I carry you Espeon?"

He doesn't even THINK about saying no. This is probably the only contact with Ash he'd ever have for the rest of his life.

…

Night seems to be falling only moments later, and Ash practically falls down next to the road in exhaustion. Paul can't sleep, be it for the hoot-hoots crowing in the distance or his troubles, he just can't find sleep. He slumbers next to Ash, and he can almost feel it when their minds start to mingle again.

He pulls back from Ash' mind, getting away from him in the physical world as well. He needs a bit of time by himself.

He shoots one last look at Ash before walking into the dark woods next to the path. Strange how he was afraid of fighting only a few days ago.

It doesn't take long for his psychic mind to pick up on a nearby lake, and he calmly walks towards it, hanging his front paws into the water and staring at the reflections of the stars. There is no moon this night.

"How do I get Ash to stop loving my un-cursed me, and start loving my cursed me so I can be my uncursed me again?" A small ripple in the water shakes Paul out of his thoughts, and he comes eye to eye with a luvdisk. He tilts his head in a humorless fashion. "Oh what, a pink little skin flake has something to say now?"

The luvdisk splurts ice cold water into Paul's face and he jumps up with a curse. "AH! You little-!" Before he can pull the thing from the lake and smash it into a tree, it has already dived all the way down to the bottom. Paul swats angrily at the water. "Pokemon of LOVE? Yea right! What good are you HUH! Weakling!"

With an angry cry he fires up a shadowball, shooting it into the water where the other dimension hints at other pokemon.

He can hear their scared cries as the shadowball obliterates a good part of the lake flooring, and with an frustrated yowl he prepares another one. Before he can fully well start his next shadowball, an overwhelming darkness presses him down, disables him completely, and sucks away all the psychic power around him. The shadowball forming between his fangs sparks and dies, leaving Paul to collapse on his paws.

"Stop making such noise Pinkie. I'd like to get some sleep tonight."

With a pained grunt, Paul slowly turns his head towards the source of the voice. A shady pokemon, bursting with dark energies. Black with red. A Zoroark. Paul's eyes widen at the sight of the extremely rare pokemon, and almost out of instinct he moves his paw to his side to grab non-existent pokeballs. "Zo...Zoroark?" The Pokemon laughs. "I would make some sarcastic comment, like 'did you think I was a magicarp or something' but since I transform and all, this occurs a lot more often than you'd think. Yes. I am a Zoroark, and I'm feeling up for a little talk. You woke me up, so I better make the best of it, hm? Now what did I hear, some cursed bitchy drama?"

Paul shakily pushes himself up and shakes his head, feeling weak and disarmed with the Dark pokemon sucking away the light powers to replace them with heavy darkness. "It's none of you business." He starts walking away, threatened by the big fox pokemon.

"Hm, A good thing I overheard your dramatic 'WHY ME' moaning when you were at the lake." The Zoroark sneaks up besides Paul and gives him a nudge. "Didn't you say you were sleeping?" Paul hisses harmlessly through his teeth. "Trying to sleep and sleeping aren't the same thing toots." The pokemon lets out a barking laugh and slaps Paul on the back, sending an unpleasant shudder through his back.

"Well mister Pinkie toots, lemme tell you this! To me, your problem is nothing hard. It's fixable, easily fixable. Really!" Paul already knows where this is going. "... What do you want from me so I can hear your so-called 'wonderly' advice?" The Zoroark pulls back with a feigned gasp of shock. "Ah! Espeon my friend! You didn't truly think I'd be asking a good friend like you for something in return? What kind of pokemon do you think I am?"

"A dark type..." Paul mutters to himself, to which the Zoroark laughs again. "Hah! I like you Pinkie toots! You're not like most Psychics! Hehehe! I have a feeling you won't be paying for anything I say, so I'll just give you a little advice... for free-" Paul gives Zoroark a look. "- if you catch me a big magicarp."

"You call that free?"

Zoroark shrugs. "They basically flop themselves onto shore don't they, might as well be free. I just don't feel like gettin' my paws wet, and you're plenty soaked already aren't ya?" Paul grumbles angrily, but he turns around, fishing a Magicarp onto the shore with a shadowball to cause panic once more ,and a Psychic to lift it up.

"Here's your fish." Paul has to resist the urge to smack the flopping creature into the fox's face as the Fox leans back and makes a smacking sound. "Ahhh... Thank ye kindly Toots!" Moments later the forest floor is littered with Magicarp-bits, and the black fox makes disgusting eating noises. A few minutes later, the Magicarp is completely gone, and the Zoroark gets up, stretching itself and yawning.

"Well. Better get to my important nap-time now! You swallowed up quite a few minutes of my time tootsie!" Paul growls indignantly as the Fox starts to walk away. "Where's that advice of yours, rattatta-snouted bastard?" A backlash at his mind is his answer and Paul crumples to the ground again. The Zoroark crouches besides him with a sneer. "No need to get all rude Tootsie, Pokemon aren't perfect, we forget things too. Right?" At the last word a thick blanket seems to smother Paul, and he nods frantically, eager to get the dark fox off his back.

"Here's my advice; make him fall in love... with a third you."

Paul stares at him, and through the choking blanket of darkness he manages a toothy snarl. "That is the most unhelpful advice I ever heard." The Zoroark chuckles and shakes her head. "You just don't get it do you? Humans think they're all sooo very smart. And yes, I know you're a human. In my days as a Zoroark I never met such a clumsy psychic pokemon. Really, when it comes to feeling, reading and hypnotising, you are nothing but a child."

The blanket of darkness is lifting, and Paul gasps desperately for breath. "What...what are you saying? Please... explain more!" The Zoroark nods and leans down to his ears.

"Hypnotizing isn't half as hard as it seems, and adjusting reality for a single person, is merely child's play. Take it from someone who knows."

A moment later, the dark fox is gone, darting through the woods and leaving a wet Paul to stare after her in surprise.

Hypnotizing Ash. Make Espeon disappear, let his psychic powers create a hull of a human around his Espeon body, making it seem as if Ash was traveling with a human, and not a pokemon! He could get Ash to love him, breaking the curse, yet not losing his Ash! Zoroark is right! This is doable! Possible!

Paul wobbly gets up, and screams after the Fox as loud as he can.

"YOU ARE THE LOUSIEST DARK TYPE I EVER MET!...THANK YOU!"

A barking laugh in the distance is his answer.

**A/N: So yea, writing that Zoroark was fun as hell! Happy I did it! I'm feeling awkward with the Ash-scenes, but that's mostly because that guy barely has any character besides: I WANNA WIN. POKEYMONS ARE MY FRENDS :D DERP. Anyways, as always:**

**~SIGNED REVIEWS ALWAYS GET A REPLY~**

**Lanny-Sama OUT!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This story is... I don't know. Sometimes someone messages me, and reminds me that I cn still write a chapter to this story, and so far, it has resulted into two chapters I never planned on writing. Chapter 5, and now chapter 6. Anyone who was waiting for chapter 6, thank Silverwingdragon151! **

**Enjoy!**

Paul returns to Ash just in time to find him panicking about and yelling his name. It's still dark outside, and Ash stumbles around in the bushes like a blind man. "Espeon! Espeon where are you!" Espeon almost feels pleased to have been so missed, and he jumps from the bushes with a chipper mewl. Ash immediately kneels besides him and wraps his arms around him.

"You had me so worried Espeon! I really thought I'd scared you off yesterday." Paul winces when Ash ruffles the top of his head with a gloved hand, but he accepts the sign of affection, even though he ducks away when Ash doesn't show any signs of stopping.

_There's overdoing it, and then there is OVERDOING IT Ash! Geez, did you ever have any Psychic pokemon in your team at all?! _Paul quickly hops away from Ash, heading in a random direction. He doesn't know where they're headed, but it doesn't really matter. He can find food, or catch it, and the most important thing is learning to use his hypnosis.

The dimension that gives him his powers

He heads off quickly, leaving Ash scrambling to catch up. "Hey wait! I still need to put on my jacket, ESPEON!" Paul slows down, but just a little bit. "And what about breakfast, I don't have anything on me..." Espeon sighs, stops, and turns back to where he met the Zoroark. Maybe he could convince Ash to fry a magicarp or luvdisk. He'd prefer that Luvdisk from yesterday personally, but a magicarp would have far more meat.

"Espeon, if we want to get ANYWHERE, we should go in one direction, not wander about!" Espeon just looks at him accusingly and mentally raises an eyebrow. _I'm trying to get you fed, idiot! I'm the one with a plan here, so you just follow my lead or beat it! _

…_...Okay okay, I don't want you to beat it, but have a little faith in me. _Ash hesitantly follows him, and Paul makes a little skip in his walking, obviously very pleased to have Ash follow him. It's the way it's supposed to go after all, he knows better in this situation!

They reach the pond quickly, and Paul immediately starts looking for the luvdisk that so crudely spat water in his face the evening before. He'd like nothing more than to see that blubbering fish sizzling above a fire.

"Oh! Water!" Ash immediately rushes past him and almost runs into the water in his attempt to drink as much as quickly as possible. Paul hisses at him when he feels the presence of the other fish retreat to the far bottom of the pond. Still, he can catch them. A few shadow balls at the lake floor, and they should all swim up to escape.

Ash makes slurpy drinking noises besides him and espeon twitches his ear in annoyance. _Bear it for now Paul, as soon as you can speak, you're telling him how disgusting that sounds. _The psychic dimension ripples, and out of nowhere a lanturn jumps out of the water, agitated and all too ready to emit a burst of static at Paul and Ash. Ash spits out a full out of water in surprise and almost slips off the edge of the lake. "BWAAH!"

Paul had been warned by the dimension, and before the lanturn can unleash its static, he activates his psychic powers, and flings the fish out of his sight. Luvdisk for dinner, no lanturns, but luvdisks!

"W-wow, that lanturn came out of nowhere! Thanks Espeon... Without you I would have been a goner for sure."

Espeon raises an eyebrow at Ash. _You have no idea Ash, you have NO idea._ He moves along the edge of the lake, following the random directions of the other dimension. The words of the Zoroark still ring in his head, chastising him for his weakness in psychic power... he couldn't say it didn't surprise him... The dimension from which he gathered his powers was so diverse and large, it didn't only hold power. He hisses. He'd always had no respect for Psychic pokemon, beings so strong simply submitting to a thin plastic casing and a stupid command... But he can see now how much comfort it gives to have a foothold. Tryingto find all the uses of the dimension... It could drive you mad. Simply drawing power and using it in the world... it truly is childs play.

Ash follows him, quickly putting the lid of his drinking canteen back on.

"You know Espeon?"

Paul ignores him.

"I never thought paul would be able to get an espeon, or an Umbreon."

Paul almost stops to look back at Ash, but he forces himself to keep walking normally. His ears tilt backwards, and he listens intently to what Ash says.

"Whenever I battled him, he just misused his pokemon. At least, that's what I saw. Treated them like... heh, much like you treat pokemon actually. Like they're dirt beneath your paws. You know? But still, somehowlanturn pokemon... he made friends with you. I... I know he didn't trade you as an Espeon. He hates... hated making friends with pokemon, thought it made them weak. I'm betting he wanted you to evolve into a Jolteon, but- you loved him anyhow."

Paul stops and sits down, curling his double tail around him. The forest is asleep around them. Ash is so very wrong, but Paul finds himself wishing that he wasn't. He'd had an Eevee, but it disliked him to the point of refusing to evolve, and running away. The eevee family is sensitive to... sensitive to love and friendship. Without really wanting to, he thinks of his Torterra, his very first pokemon. It had tried to like him, tried to be nice... Does it even remember him now?

Ash crouches down next to him and puts a soft hand on his head. This time he's not rough about it, and Paul lets Ash pet him sotfly. "I... already told you that I liked him, right? I didn't agree with how he treated his pokemon, I thought it was inexcusable, but... finding you as his pokemon... did I ever really know him? Maybe I just couldn't see the good parts of his training. Maybe I was holding myself back, for no reason at all."

Ash pulls him into a hug, and Paul is uncomfortably pressed against Ash's jacket. It's muddy and smells dusty, but Paul can't care less. He doesn't really know what to think, so he just keeps his head quiet, and nuzzles Ash's cheek in their embrace.

"Guess it doesn't matter now, really... But talking to you Espeon, is like talking to a part of him."

Paul pulls himself from Ash's embrace, and tries to focus on the other dimension again. The sooner he finds a teacher of the psychic world, the sooner he can turn back into a human and...

_And what exactly? Have him meet a person I never was? He likes... liked me when I was still alive, but... I don't think I'll be the same when I come back. _

He looks back at Ash, who has gotten up and follows him with a tired expression on his face. All options are just as likely... He can only hope it'll be the one where they both smile, and share a hug amongst more than friends...

**I hope you enjoyed this! **


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